I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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