is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
