Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
