when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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