This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
