Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we made out on top of his cat.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
