In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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