no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
