You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
