I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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