I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
