He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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