I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
