so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We were destined to go to rehab together
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
