We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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