Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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