you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
