some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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