If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
