I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize