I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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