Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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