Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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