We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize