they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
