"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
