Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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