ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
