didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
