In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
