Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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