sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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