i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
