Jerry, you need to find god
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
