Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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