My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Randomize
