He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
