I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Randomize
