I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize