just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
