I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
