What a fucking waste of an outfit
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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