So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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