we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize