Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
