OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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