my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I won't apologize to a one balled man
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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