I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
