Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize