that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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