woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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