would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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