Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
