He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
