And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need moral support for this bender
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
