i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
