Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize