Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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