READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
