i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she woke up with a sticky ear
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
