Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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