how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
