So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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