i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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