the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
