Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
