No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
