I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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